


i'm on a bench in coney island

by comfortcharacters



Series: evermore collection [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, During Canon, M/M, Moving On, Post-Canon, takes place during garden of light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28024779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfortcharacters/pseuds/comfortcharacters
Summary: Seven years later, Eiji musters up the courage to make his way back to Coney Island.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Series: evermore collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053434
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	i'm on a bench in coney island

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by taylor swift's "coney island"

He needed to get away. He tried to resist the impulse, he really did, but every photograph that the three of them casually flipped through brought up more unnecessary questions. Every photo album journey, meant to be a joyful walk through memory lane, clenched his still-fragile heart a tiny bit further. He didn’t know if he’d ever be quite ready for those confrontations, but he certainly wasn’t ready for Ibe’s eyes staring at him from the body of a young girl, asking him questions about “A” with all the curiosity of someone who didn’t know the weight of their words.

He loved Akira, even after years of living far away from Ibe and his family, but he knew Sing could handle her entertainment for a while. New York is lively enough for the two of them, anyway.

Eiji needed to get away. 

His feet carried him thoughtlessly towards Washington Square Park, with an urgency in his step that belied the calm expression that he wore while walking through the city. He fully intended to spend an afternoon taking photos of those around him, maybe getting some shots good enough for a future exhibit, maybe enjoying the scenery, maybe putting enough of himself into his work that he forgets his racing thoughts for just a second. 

His camera betrayed him, aiming away from the few birds scattered in the treetops to focus on the figures of a young couple. They were snuggling on a park bench in flimsy T-shirts, foolish enough to feel impervious to the April winds, yet happy enough by each other’s sides to ignore it all together. Eiji felt his hands shake and put down his camera on the bench beside him, keeping it from dropping and shattering into a million pieces.

Maybe going to the park just across the street didn’t quite meet his need for escapism.

Eiji looked around and set his eyes on the subway station around the corner. He stared for a beat too long before pulling himself out of a reverie, eyes suddenly glistening with determination and a hint of fear. He sent a quick text to Sing, asking for him to take care of dinner. Sing responded with a string of emojis and a thumbs-up selfie of him and Akira in Little Italy, both halfway through consuming a pint of gelato. 

_I’m taking care of her, Eiji. Do what you need to do._

They both knew perfectly well that their tense arrangement, dancing around his name like it’s a curse, couldn’t go on. There are too many places that Eiji can’t visit. His city, their beautiful and twisted city, is still tainted by the memories and the love that Eiji can’t let go of. He can’t even look at a damn photograph without feeling the weight of the last seven years on his shoulders, a pain that never dissipated from his body from the moment he landed in Japan and got that fateful phone call. 

He got on the F train at the West 4th Street Station, plugged in his headphones, and thumbed at the faded photograph that never left his pocket.

He was going to Coney Island.

_I’m on a bench in Coney Island, wondering, where did my baby go?_

_The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go_

_Sorry for not making you my centerfold._

The last time Eiji was here was a lifetime ago. He remembered the gunfight vividly, feeling the tense pull of memories too sharp to be forgotten, no matter how hard he tried. He instinctively checked behind him to see if one of Arthur’s henchmen reappeared after a decade of silence. A group of elderly women stared back instead. 

Looking towards the elevated train platform, he could see two silhouettes, both beaten within an inch of their life and desperate to come out on top. He remembered the relief that surged through him as Arthur plummeted to the ground. He let himself believe that some kind of reprieve, an ocean of calmness, waited for them with Arthur’s death. That even the two of them could find happiness in a world that had tried to shatter them. 

He wondered how he let himself be so naïve.

Tears started forming up in Eiji’s eyes and he struggled to blink them back, staring into the fading spring sunlight and listening to the echoes of voices making their way down the almost-abandoned boardwalk. The few people passing by barely spared a glance in Eiji’s direction, keeping him isolated in a burgeoning city in true New Yorker spirit. 

He realized, now, that no one would care if they saw him cry. No one would stop and question the man clutching his pocket like a lifeline and gasping for breath between sobs. No one would snoop and pry and ask invasive questions out here. And in this solitude, with this knowledge of his own isolation, he finally let himself break the dam of his own psyche, absorbing and reliving every ounce of trauma and heartache and _love_ that had made his life worthwhile in those few years. He didn’t stop until the air stopped burning his throat with every inhale, when he slumped back against the bench with a sigh of relief.

He stayed out until sundown, staring out into the rippling waves, and a part of him saw a faded shadow of blonde hair pass in his periphery. 

For once, he didn’t chase it. 

_The sight that flashed before me was your face_

_When the sun goes down_

_But I think that I forgot to say your name._

“I’ll always love you, Ash. But maybe… I’m almost ready for the world to love you, too,” Eiji whispered to himself, pulling out the photograph and finally letting it see the sunlight.

He looked into the sunset, pictured dawn on the horizon, and faintly smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> all I do is write fics to songs from evermore at 2 AM and I can't even be mad about it.


End file.
